Bollywood

There is something deeply disturbing about watching a bollywood film and even if you put aside the fact that the stories are shit, the acting is shit, the spontaneous dancing and singing is shit, you are still left with roughly 2 hours of smelly packies! Don't get me wrong I ain't racist - though let's be honest they do stink - but I can't think of anything worse than having to endure watching these dirty fuckers prance around like fairies, each of them with a look on their face that says 'I will work for food'.

Bollywood is quite simply a form of Asian charity and the only reason it exist is that most Indian's would fuck their own granny for a peanut. I mean why else would a fully-grown, heavily bearded, curry-eating sweat ball parade around in silky pants, singing a song about how he would love to ram a cucumber up his own arse - don't believe the subtitles, all bollywood films are about some sick fucking packie wanting to get his funk on with a phallic vegetable. Of course you may doubt me but only a dead man would question the preacher man. Anyway hire out any bollywood piece of shit tonight, take a shit load of drugs - required if you ever want to make it to the closing credits of one of these bud bud faggot making epics - and then tell me when you’re watching that there is not at least one full frontal shot of a phallic vegetable being caressed by the £1.99 lead.

Let's not beat around the bush - even most Indian's think bollywood films are shit! So why do they continue to be made by the shitload? I'll tell you why! Because if it wasn't for bollywood every shit stain of a mustachioed wannabe Gene Kelly packie would be flogging their dead-beat acts in the streets of London. Bollywood is like a home for the deluded janitors that never quite made Broadway and for that reason I say thank fuck for bollywood - though of course I will never watch the retarded, homoerotic shit! Boo yaaah!