Litter

For my first rant I would like to harp on about the dangers of chucking litter on the floor. It is a little known fact that anyone who throws litter on the floor with blatant disregard for nearby bins is not only a certified prick, but will become less fertile as a result of said action. Now you may ask how on earth such an action can result in a decrease in fertility and on paper I would agree this seems ridiculous. But when you feel my foot slamming into your sexual organs I think you will know why it is true and the only babies you will be making from then on are of the brown, soft variety.

I am not sure though if the act of dropping litter annoys me more or the complete fucking twats that do it – you know the type: a shit-for-brains lay-about who thinks he looks cool in a shell suit and smokes Rizla roll-ups! It is pricks like this that seem to actually find the act of dropping litte amusing. Well I wonder how funny they will find it when I am ramming their empty bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale into their fucking love hole!

It doesn’t, however, really matter whether you’re a retarded fucking scally or an average joe, dropping litter is always wrong and if you do it I will come over there and kick you so fucking hard between your legs that you will be swallowing your own sexual juices for about a week. Boo yaaah!